I posed for it.

So, my life lately?  Been pretty busy, I guess.  I have to go to work in less than a hour.  That’s right, I said it.  Work.  I found a job.  Ladies and gents, I work at Lil’ Caeser’s.  It’s an alright job.  I spread the dough on pans and wash dishes.  I love it.  6.15 an hour, not so great, but not horrible.  Money is money and it’s better than nothing.  I’m going to give my parents money every month for text messaging since 90% of my friends text me when they want to hang out with me instead of calling.  “Did you get my text?”  Everyone and their mom’s knows I can’t receive texts.  I also signed up for The Jim so I won’t be fat anymore.  Yey!  Go me.  I think I’m working about 4 or 5 days a week.

I can’t decide if I like my co-workers yet or not.  Some are cool, and some just seem a bit fake.  I definitely love the assistant manager.  If any of you have walked in the store and seen a redheaded dude, that’s him.  I just want you to know he’s the coolest dude ever.   There’s this one chick there that’s WEIRD AS SHIT.  Holy fuck.  Weirdest person I’ve ever met.  She’s half my size and honest to God, I couldn’t tell if she was a little boy, a little girl, or a little old lady.  She talks -3 words per second and she reminds me of Velma from Scooby Doo, so that’s what I call her.  (Behind her back.)  She was talking to me about Round Table Pizza and how weird it is that her brother always ordered the same pizza everytime they went.  “My mother never liked pizza…you know why?  Because she doesn’t like cheese…..I like cheese….”

Another time we were working on sheet-outs (spreading the dough on the pan and shit), and she asks me, “Do you like spare change?”  I say, “…Is that like…a band or something?”
“No, just change.”
“..Yeah, I guess..”
“In highschool kids would throw away any change that weren’t quarters.  I just thought that was so stupid….Don’t you think that’s so stupid?”
“I don’t know, I throw away pennies.”
She was silent.  A few hours later she comes up to me and says, “If you’ve ever got any pennies that you want to throw away, feel free to give them to me.”
“Alright, I will.”
Another couple hours later: “You don’t happen to have any pennies on you, now, do you?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Oh….you don’t mind me asking you, do you?”
“Nah.”

She asked me what grade I was in at one point, so I asked her how old she is.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“..What?”
“It doesn’t matter.”

I started cracking up when I saw her jump in excitement at the sound of a coin dropping to the floor.

Life is awesome. I hate to say it because I’m sure in a few days it will be back to dull but, things have been going so smooth lately. I’ve been in a great mood for the past two weeks even with the mono. There are still times where out of nowhere I just get in this apathetic mood where I don’t care what’s going on around me, I just want to put my head down and sleep for 6 days. If you see me in that mood don’t worry about it, nothing’s wrong with me.

The internet hasn’t been working on my computer for a couple of days. I’ve been using my dad’s. Kind of sucks because I haven’t been able to download music and I want to get the new Modest Mouse album. I’m listening to it now on their site and so far, so good. I dig them.

Speakin’ of diggin’, I’m diggin’ my new shoes. New brown Authentic Vans. “What? Jessie in shoes that aren’t 5 feet wide and weigh 70,000 pounds?” Yeah, that’s right. It’s cool. Thinking about getting a white pair and having Joseph and I draw all over them. I’ve got to get the money.

Money. Fuck. I hate money. Do we actually NEED it? Because I don’t have any. And maxing out my credit card is not cool. I’m always telling myself, just this once won’t hurt..I can do chores for my mom to make up for it or get a job to pay her back. Except I’m not good at turning in applications because I suck dick. Whatever. One day. One day.

I wish I wasn’t so lazy. The end of the quarter is next week and that’s not good considering my grades aren’t so swell right now. D in Anatomy, C in Algebra, C in French. If I don’t do good on any tests I’m going to have next week, then… my GPA is tainted.  : ( French I’m not too worried about, I just have to make up a test from being absent sometime last week. Anatomy I’m totally dreading because I suck at that class. I can’t memorize all the shit we need to memorize. I could never be a doctor. Algebra should be alright as long as I score a C or higher on the test this week. I realized that I don’t suck that hard at math as I thought I did. One way I realized this is because everyone that sits around me in that class turns to me to ask for help. Then I explain it to them and they get it. Weird. I should be making bucks off of tutoring. All I know is next quarter, I’m shaping up to make up for this one. That should even out for the semester’s grade.

Why the fuck did it get hot so fucking fast? I remember a week ago it was just fine. Maybe it’s only hot to me because I have black leather seats and there’s NO FUCKING AIR CONDITIONING IN MY CAR. Hate my life. Pops says we’ll go get it checked out this week. We’ll see. He’s also said we’ll get all the shit in my car fixed such as the brakes, the windows, and the electronics on my dash a month ago.

I already need new pants. I do this thing where it gets down to one pair of comfortable, non-holey pants so I wear them everyday and wash them all the time so they get worn out and start ripping. That is why I run out of pants. Not because I’m Sasquatch and can’t fit in the clothes I buy because I deliberately buy them 3 sizes too small. Why the fuck would I do that?

I went and saw Dead Silence with Devanny, Joe, Frank, and John. I recommend that movie. Not. John and I laughed throughout the entire thing. Another “scary” movie that’s failed to scare me. No matter what, I always end up laughing at horror movies. The only part that freaked me out was when this old dude died. The lady smiled at him all weird and got up in his face and then he was laying there dead with his tongue cut out and I hate gorey shit so I made this high pitched squeaky noise and John laughed at me.

Later that night I saw this shadowy figure in my room. The lights were out so I had no idea what the fuck it was, but to me, it looked like a rabbit. This rabbit was sitting still as fuck just staring at me. I turned on the light and uh…it was John’s Del Taco bag.

I just had a flashback of that scene in Homeward Bound where the dog is stuck in that big hole and can’t get out because the mud is too slippery. It makes me want to cry.

I wanted to cry when I went to Petsmart today and saw a huge dog, bigger than mine, in this little ass cage. I’m not even lying to you, this dog had barely enough room to lay down. I wanted to buy it just to get it out of there. I saw this bombass Chameleon. Felt bad for him, too. He looked like a mime when he pretends he’s trapped in a box. I’ll buy one someday. Brad said he’d give me his rat. I think I might go over there today and check it out.

Why is this shit so long?!

Staying up late always puts you in this crazy ass mood. You’re either laughing your face off for no reason at all, or sitting there staring off into space while you go off into some spontaneous self-analyzation. At least, that’s how it is with me.

I should be asleep, I have school tomorrow. But what’s the difference if I’m laying down doing the exact same thing?

When I think about my parents, I get this overwhelming feeling that I can’t explain. There’s no way I could even try to put it into words exactly how much they mean to me. I never want to experience what it’s going to be like without them. If anything ever happened to them, I’d lose it. I would lose everything. Fuck.

Holy shit, that was weird. Alright, I’m out of that creepy mood.

Been playing Neopets lately. I’m bomb at that shit. I’ve got the cutest pets with the coolest names. Monosaur and Peenchy. I’m about to abandon this one that has neomonia because it costs like 20,000 neopoints to cure and I don’t feel like playing Destruct-O-Match over and over to save up the money just to spend it all in one sitting. I’m saving that shit up for something, I just don’t know what yet. The thing is probably sick because I fed him poisonous jelly, anyway.

Didn’t go to school today. Why? I stayed up just as late as I am right now and slept all fuckin’ day. My mom wakes me up at 6 and asks me what time I went to sleep. I just roll over and tell her 4. Then I wake up and look at the clock. It’s 9. I guess I’m not going to school. Later on my mom comes in, “Are you okay? It’s one…” “Holy crap.” I fall right back asleep after that.

Alright, help me out. When I get the job that I’ll never get, should my first paycheck go to paint markers, or a dwarf hamster? And if it goes to the dwarf hamster, what should I name him?

Sleeping on my couch is way cooler than sleeping on my bed.

Just in case you guys didn’t know, Mono is in.

Speaking of Mono, I had a 5 minutes argument with my dad about me getting AIDS by sharing a drink with someone.

I want to make a drawing contest and enter it.

I also want to make a pop up book.

I was watching Foster’s Home of Imaginary Friends or whatever that show is called and they had their own trading cards and bobble-bodies. I want my own trading cards and bobble-bodies!

Alright, I can thank Joe for making me stay up too late last night, and Devanny for tonight.

The only people online right now are Me, Devanny, and SmarterChild.

Later.

I’ve got it. If you say, “Oooh, who have you been kissing? ;D” I’ll seriously punch you in the dick.

This “kissing disease” is supposed to bring extreme fatique upon you. True. I’ve slept more than usual in the past week. I’ve been lounging around often, also. But, I’ve been trying to defeat the illness and stop procrastinated.  Both today and yesterday I actually sat and did my homework right after school.  I’ve made up all my work I’ve missed from missing so much school.

Today I went home right as first period started because I felt sick.  When I got home I layed down and watched Sesame Street and fell asleep for an hour or two.  I felt better when I woke up so I went back to school.

After thinking hard about what I write about, I realize I have a sorry ass life.   Whatever though.

Today is cloudy and I love it.  I hope it’s like this all day/week/month/year/the rest of my life.

Think I can get a job when I have mono?

I went to school, asked my anatomy teacher what was up with my neck because there’s this huge bubbly lump looking thing on it, and he said I have the mumps. The mumps? That shit is out of style! I go to my math class to finish this test when the intercom goes off. “Jessica Caba…..Caba-leero, please come to the front office. Jessica Caba-leero, please come to the front office.” I had just sat down to finish the test so I was a little pissed. I go down there and the lady says something about my neck and says I need to go to the doctor. Alright, whatever, maybe I have cancer or something and this is serious. My mom comes to get me, we drive 900 miles to get to our clinic and all the guy does it look at my throat. “I haven’t seen a case of the mumps in years so I don’t think that’s what it is. It’s just a swollen gland.” I took a blood test for the first time and I didn’t dare look because I would have passed out. It was pretty neat seeing my blood in a tube, though.

I wanted to go back to school but my tire is flat to the rim. My entire car is just leaning over to the right. Why is something always holding me back from driving it? I’m allowed to drive people around in my car in two weeks. Yey.

Made a few new stickers, and after watching a bunch of bombass videos on youtube, I think I want to get more into graphic and/or web design, computer animation, or just anything closely related to that field. I love how I contradict myself by telling people I”m not going to be an artist or a cartoonist but after seeing how everything happens I decide to change my mind. Doubt I’ll make cartoons and sell my paintings for a living, but making a short animation seems pretty interesting to me right now. I’ve been working on flipbooks lately so maybe once I get more practice into that I can work on making my own short film. That magazine cover was way too fun to make, and I plan on getting more into shit like that. Hopefully I can push myself to get this calendar done and the finishing results will give me something to hold on to.

I think I’m going to invest in getting a tripod. Shouldn’t be too hard. I’d use my camera twice as much if I had one. I’d be more motivated to make stop motion videos and other goodies.
Maybe this is why I’m always so unorganized. My mind is always jumbled with these ideas and desires. I’m looking around my room and all I see are three laundry baskets full of clothes in the far corner, my bed sheetless because I still haven’t retrieved them from the laundry room, and my couch covered in blankets and pillows because I’ve been sleeping on it for the past few days. My desk is piled in empty cups and bottles. Stickers and origami that I’ve made are chillin all over it and there’s markers scattered around the entire vicinity of my room. I bet this is what the inside of my brain looks like. My parents hate my lifestyle. I love it.

I hate my life.

A.) I got used tires put on my car last week. I knew they’d be shitty. Guess what? I’ve got a flat tire.

B.) I went to play pool tonight with John, Joe, Zach, Cheezy, Devon, and Junior. I play a few games with Joseph and Junior wants to play him so I sit down. I don’t know someone is standing beside me until I hear, “Are you not going to play?” I turn my head and see some 35 year old lookin’ dude wearing a beanie staring down at me. As Joseph so truthfully put it, “He looks like a police artist’s sketch.” I look back at Joe and Junior playing and tell him I’m just waiting until it’s my turn. He asks me if he can pay for a game for me and I say, “Nah, it’s alright.” He laughs, “Why not? C’mon, it’ll be fun.” “No, it’s okay.” He goes,”So, what’s your name?” “Jessie.” I don’t know what he says after that, all I know is he keeps standing there. I can only see him out of my peripheral vision and that’s alright with me because I don’t want to look at this dude in the first place. A few minutes pass and he asks me again if I’ll play a game of pool with him. I decline his offer at least three times more and he sits down behind me. I’m sitting there hoping he won’t hold up a gun to my head or stab me in my neck just because I don’t want to play. This dude is going to get me in the choke hold, rape me, and stab me 17 times in the throat in front of everyone! I get up to go to the bathroom and hope once again that he’s not standing there waiting for me when I walk out because it’s in a dark, isolated area. I even look behind me when I’m walking away.

I sit back down and after a while he starts talking again. “So, what other games do you like to play other than pool? You like air hockey? Or anything?” “I don’t know..pool, I guess.” He laughs, “That’s cool. Are you still in school?” “Yeah.” (Maybe this will get him off of my nuts.) “What school do you go to?” “Legacy.” “What’s that?” “A high school.” (Why isn’t he off my nuts, yet?) “Oh, is this your first year? Second year?” I’m not even turned to face him when I talk, I’m facing the complete opposite direction. Thank God Joe and Devon and the rest of the group come up and talk to me every few minutes. “I”m a junior.” “Oh, how old are you?” “17.” (Good, he knows I’m young and illegal. Maybe he’ll leave me the fuck alone now.) “So, do you like school?” (Nope, he’s still talking.) I just nod. “What do you like about school?” “I don’t know.” “What’s your favorite subject?” “I don’t know.” I sit there for a bit and get up to hang out with John and Cheezy. Everyone could tell something was wrong with me.

The entire time I thought everyone unaware of what was going on but it turns out they knew what was up. Gay as it sounds, I’m glad they were around because if I was alone I don’t know what the fuck I’d have done. The creepy dude just ended up playing pool by himself. We all made a shit load of jokes about it and I still ended up having a good time. I accidently beat Joseph at pool at least once, and beat Devon also. As we were leaving, I noticed Creepy talking to another girl sitting alone. I saw the owner of the place look over and say, “What the fuck is going on?” and he started walking over by them. I’m not sure if he was actually refering to the situation or not, but I did notice the creep walked away from the girl as soon as the owner came around.

I told you. I fucking HATE creepy guys.

On a much lighter note, check out what I did for commercial design:

The best part of tonight is when everyone looked up from playing pool as soon as they heard the beginning riff to an Escape the Fate song from the TV. “Are you serious?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”