Time has gone by so fast this year. Every year since I was a freshmen, it’s been speeding by. It seemed like middle school took forever to end, and now I’m already (almost) a senior. I don’t know how I feel about this. I’ve been around the same exact people for 10 years just about. I see kids around school that I met in first grade and now I’m about to graduate with them and more than likely won’t see them again. That’s life, but I feel like I’m taking it all for granted.

It doesn’t even feel like school is about to end. It feels like this should be the end of second semester. I almost wish it was.

I hate the fact that the clocks are 2 minutes fast at work. Those two minutes can make a huge difference.
This summer I might end up going to Chicago to visit with family and hopefully Texas to stay with Richard for a couple days. I’m stoked for many reasons. I need to get out of Vegas for a while. I’m due for a vacation. Every year I get in this mood where I just get sick of everything out here, then I leave for 2 weeks and miss everything after 4 days. Vegas has a hold on me, I don’t know what it is.

My dad fixed my sun roof a few days ago. Yey! Today we went and got new tires and rims, all for $500. Sweet deal. My car looks brand new, now. And since I’ve got that new steering wheel cover, I’ve felt like I’ve been driving an 06 Beamer.

Shit’s been eh lately. I’ve been in a dull mood all weekend. But then again, I’m almost always in a dull mood. I’m a boring person.

My brother is letting me borrow his DSLR. I was surprised to hear he’d let me but I think he and I are subconsciously trying to mend our relationship. Ever since he hit high school, there was all kinds of tension between us. Now, nearly 10 years later, we’re not at each other’s throats anymore. I kind of like it. After he helped me out with my car today I wrote him a letter of appreciation, so I’m hoping that sealed the deal.

Anyway, I’m having all sorts of fun with this camera. I want to go somewhere shot-worthy. I’m thinking the skatepark. And I kind of just want to take portraits of my friends. Is that weird?

I’m trying to get some sort of business going with purse designing and then some. I know I won’t find the time, effort, or money to do it, but I at least want to make an attempt. I’ve got a bunch of requests and I don’t know how soon I’m going to end up getting them done. I need better technology.

This week plus next week and my junior year is over. Joseph, remember when I was 14? Those were the days. If I could explain the way I feel via movie, then this would be a scene where I’m just standing in the middle of a lobby while everyone and everything around me is moving too fast to catch a glimpse of it.

I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to update this. I always give up half way in and ask myself, “What’s the point? No body cares.”  I’m too ugly to take pictures, that’s another reason why I never update.

I do this thing where I judge people and I really need to stop it.

It’s getting hot outside. I miss winter.

2 more weeks of school not including finals week. Where the hell did this year go, and when did it start to suck dick? I’m thinking about getting my shit over and done with during the summer so I can just never go back to Legacy again. I swear on everything all these random ass gay kids came out of nowhere and are taking over the school.

See? I’m judging them. I’ve got to stop.

I’m managing my grades as best I can.  Working isn’t all that bad when I’ve got less hours.  I hate some of the dicks there.  Like, the dude who can’t say “excuse me” when he literally pushes me out of the way when he’s trying to get through somewhere and just gives me an evil stare, or the chick who has to do everything for me as if I don’t already know when I’m working front counter.  Right as I’m about to ask if the customer wants anything else, she’ll ask it for me.  Right as I’m about to say what their total is, she does it for me.  And guess what?  She always has to tell them the change.  I don’t get one word to the customer because she’s standing at my side acting like I’m a stupid mother fucker.

I hate Legacy kids.  I hate them.  They just talk shit on me all day and bug me for rides.  I’m tired of people consecutively talking shit on me.   Calling me a lesbian should have gotten old freshmen year, and I can’t stand it when people call me stupid.  And for all the kids who say I’m “emo” for never talking to anyone and chillin’ by myself, suck a dick.  I’ll graduate, you won’t.

I’m tired of people treating me like shit all around.  My friends are right, I’m too nice.  I wish I could step up and be mean but everytime I do, I feel bad.  It’s just how I am.  I give and give and give no matter how little I get in return.  The most I can ever do is complain.  Somebody help me build a backbone.  Good things are supposed to come to those who wait, and I’ve been waiting for a long time.

I’m stoked for the summer.  If everyday is anything like the nights I’ve had with Joseph, John, Carlos, and/or Aubrey, then this summer is going to be the best.  Laughing is the best feeling I can ever have, and that’s literally all I do when I’m with any of them.

As I said before, I’m thinking about getting my shit done over the summer.  I don’t know how well this will all work out, but I’m just hoping.  I’m leaning more towards majoring in graphic design or something.

Can I just start my own business?

I bought an air freshener, a seat cover, and a steering wheel cover for my car today.  I just want you all to know that the most difficult task to perform is putting on a steering wheel cover.  For real, I’m not even lying.  My fingers are still sore.

 Richard, where are you?  I want to hug you.

Kudos for never being home/online anymore. Kudos on a 300 dollar paycheck last Friday. Kudos for only spending 40 dollars of it and putting the rest in the bank/paid bills with it. Kudos for moving up to front counter in 3 weeks at work.

Kudos for my car that’s falling apart. The sun roof is fucked, the windows are dying, the starter is fucking up and the doors still don’t lock. I made this list today entitled, “List of everything that’s wrong with my car” and it filled up more than half of my paper. Kudos.

I hate the teachers who take away points for being absent. I hate the teachers who expect me to know everything the day they teach it and hand out quizzes and yell at you for not knowing all of them. “THIS IS THE CORONOID PLEXUS AND IT SECRETES ADH INTO THE HEPATIC PORTAL AND IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE SEQUENCE OF THE ARTERIES AND VEINS FROM THE HEART TO THE GALLBLADDER THEN YOU LOSE!!!!!” I hate my drawing/commercial design teacher. He’s been bugging the fuckin’ shit out of me lately. Needing everything perfect in his own way and never being satisfied until it looks like something he would be excited to interpret in an art book. We took notes on the history of art and I was insanely pissed off when we had to learn about a dude named Jackson Pollack. You, too, can paint masterpieces simply by going here and moving/clicking your mouse over and over. It’s also a shame that I know more about the programs we use in commercial design than he does. Tell me why we had to interpret cereal boxes the other day?

The only time I’m home now is to sleep. I feel SUPER bad. The other day, when I was leaving for work, I said the usual, “Mom, I’m leaving. Love you.” and she goes, “Love you, I’ll see you tomorrow.” And for some reason, that crushed me. I literally stopped in my tracks and replayed what she said in my head. Tonight after work I sat and talked to her and my dad about shit for an hour or so. I need to start doing that all the time. I miss the fuck out of them.

I’m super worried about Aubrey. She’s been sick for the past 3 or 4 days, hasn’t been to school and hasn’t been to work. Instead she’s been at the doctor getting all kinds of tests and trying to sleep. Whatever dude, I just hope they can fix whatever the fuck is wrong with her. For the past year, there hasn’t been one day where she hasn’t said, “Man, I have a headache.”

This entry has been in my drafts for the past week. You guys don’t know this, but I update all the time, I just never publish something until I feel it’s truly “up to date”.

I need to start thinking of my room as if it was Little Caeser’s, and my parents as my managers, that way when they tell me to clean it, I do it right away.

Usual analyzation of my life:  Yeah, I’ve always been right.  I have the greatest friends in the world.

My back is killing me. I’m going to make breakfast.

P.S. I have man hands. :’(

Edit:  I think everything  I’m eating right now is expired.

P.S.S.  Little Caeser’s shirts work GREAT as napkins.